Scums of Society
To start this article off, I would like to address the issue that if you happen to be in any of these categories..


#6
The Work Oriented Guy
Yes, although it may be good to work hard and get a job of anything above scrubbing toilet, these anal-retentive people take it to another level. When you can help them achieve their goals, you are their best buddy. Discussing about business, fun things they have done and other cliche gay-to-gay talk. When one day you fall sick or don't feel too well and can't get any work done, the shit hits the fan. No no, the table's turned now. He gives you that look like you owe him something...

He forgets about the time you taught him something which his miserable life so desperately needed. All of a sudden you're treated like a tenant that hasn't paid the rent.

Scum rating: 6

#5

Mr Holier-than-thou
These guys not neccessarily have to be Christian, Muslim or from any religion sect. Mr Holier-than-thou can just be your regular guy that brings his kids to school, goes to work, being a good person.

Oh noes! BEING A GOOD PERSON?! Yes, he'll even use that against you. Telling people behind your back, or sometimes to your face, how much 'nicer' he is.

A christian I know of once said I'm not a good enough person and that he worries that I 'might go to Hell'. This obviously implies that he thinks he's not. What kind of arrogant shit is that? Doesn't the bible or Quran teach humility??

Nerds compare grades, tycoons compare wealth, and now Christians compare who's nicer.

Nuff said.
Scum rating: 7

#4

The Followers

Everyone should be leaders. 'What? if everybody is a leader, who's gonna be the follower?!' you may ask. Well exactly, no one should be a follower. Being a follower immediately ranks you as a scum. The characteristics of a follower are as follows:

1. Follow the leader everywhere he goes

2. Service the leader

3. Kiss the leader's ass

4. Kiss the leader's ass again

Under no circumstances should you do the above. By doing so, you're telling the world that you don't have the capabilities to be in charge of your own actions.

But that still doesn't make you a scum. You're a scum because you're supporting and maintaining the bigger scum that now thinks he has power over everyone just because he can boss a few losers around.

Scum rating: 7

#3

Backstabbers

Ahhh... We all know the backstabbers. The ones that are all nice infront of you, but behind your back, tell everyone what you've told them, and even make up a few false facts. The reason? Just so they can have the satisfaction of letting other people know that they know stuff. These guys are such scums that you'd have to be on your guard whenever they come around. When they get to the stage where they know everyone hates them, they get all self righteous like

'its too bad people say that about me, its just that they can't take my honesty, I treat everyone the same blah blah blah'.

Well I feel sorry for 'everyone'. Steer clear of the backstabber. You might think that you can at least use them, but the thing is you usually can't find a use for the backstabber. Even if they can help you, they wouldn't. Coming up with excuses like

'oh I don't have enough money'

or

'my dad won't let me go out'

There are a few that seem trustable, until shit happens and they'll point the finger at you faster than Michael Jackson can unbutton a kid's shirt.

Scum rating: 8

#2

Mr I'm-so-tough

They don't have to be big or muscular, so long as they're bigger than those they bully (this applies to any class of people, be it muscle or riches). They are usually people who have tasted being bullied or been at a disadvantage before, and feel that since they cannot take revenge on tougher foes, pick on the smaller ones.

Cowards to the core, they'd act like they're the shit infront of someone smaller, but just when the bigger dog comes in, they shrink their imaginary dicks and kiss the bigger guy's ass. Evident in many prisons.

This is possible even in the gaming community. The guy with the higher level (usually a fat nerd with nacho stains on his shirt) gets all tough just because he's 'well endowed' on the internet. Flaunting his e-dick around, he goes around 'pwning n00bs' and labelling himself 'l33t'.

Scum rating: 8.5

#1

Fakers

Finally, we have the fakers. You know the guy with the alligator smile and 'kiss-ass' written all over his face. Usually the lowly guy that is so insecure that he'll laugh even if you insult him. The used-car salesman is a perfect example. But he's just a kiss-ass, why is he ranked #1? Well this guy is as sly as they come.

Don't let the smile fool you (if you're such an idiot that you cant detect a fake smile, you deserve to have your throat cut.), this guy will pry onto your private matters until he's got enough information. Then use them against you via blackmail or switch sides to your enemy. The last thing you need is your enemy knowing everything about you.

Never get close to the Faker in the first place, and if he finds something out, threaten the hell out of him. Involve his family, friends, girlfriend, kids or anything valuable
to him. They are usually pussies, so hopefully you can pull it off.

Scum rating: 9

There you have it. The 6 scums of society. If you have any suggestion for more scums please...

I don't give a rat's ass about your ideas, this is my post. Go make your own asshole.

Muslims (This article will not be comedic.)

Although not all muslims are assholes, most of them involved in terrorism are indeed less intelligent than earthworms. There are so many things wrong with them that I seriously don't know where to start. First of, there's nothing wrong with Islamic religion. Like all other religions, it teaches its followers to be compassionate, merciful and be generally good people. Only when the followers start to go ape-shit, that we have a problem.

Back a few hundred odd years ago, the Christians participated in the Crusades and killed many Muslims for the Holy Land. Thousands were killed and many litres of blood were lost. Even so, the crusades had a purpose; to take the Holy Land. Since then, we've become much more civilised. We got proper sewers, great hospitals, satellites launched into space and some of us even help out less fortunate people around the globe. We no longer hold public executions or enslave people. What do we have to fight over nowadays? Some newspaper showing a cartoon of Muhammad? Do these muslims have nothing better to do??


1. First off, It's ok for the muslims to be angry because their prophet is being mocked, but their reason for riots was "because no one is allowed to show a picture of Muahammad". What kind of a fucked up reason is that? Last time I checked, Muhammad is a man, not a God. Suddenly, we're not allowed to draw/generate pictures of other people? There are paintings and sculptures of Jesus everywhere. You don't see Christians burning down the city because of it. Even if someone says your prophet sucks giant elephant cock, so what? Some of us like brocolli, some of us think its defecation from Satan himself. Should we start bombing each other because of that?

2. Many religions are being made fun of all the time. The cartoon South Park has so far, made fun of Christianity, Scientology, Buddhism and Shintoism. Did it cause a big riot? Were buildings bombed? Were people killed? Does anyone care? Fuck no. Instead of being all uptight and bitchy about it, the rest of the world takes it as a joke (as originally intended) and forget about it. We move on with our lives. What makes your religion any better than theirs?

3. And isn't "killing" a sin in Islamic religion? I'm pretty sure all religions try to get you NOT to kill. So you claim to be a loyal servant of Allah but defy his teachings? Very convincing, jackass.

4. Lack of intelligence?- Why not fight back in non-violent ways? Someone mocks your prophet with a cartoon, do the same to their prophet! Why must you bomb/kill etc? It's like how it is back in kindergarten, where one kid will tease another and the loser has nothing to say, so he starts crying, scratching/biting and generally acting like a pussy.

5. Fight Fair- If you choose to fight, at least fight in an honourable way. Why not launch an all-out attack? Why attack using cowardly tactics and other sneak attacks? Many of you act like you are fearless, but cower dastardly and not own up to your actions. Could it be because deep down inside, you know you are gutless pansies?

6. Since it's only a small portion of people that offended you, shouldnt you attack them only? Why attack the entire country? The innocent civilians had done nothing wrong. If America has the same mentality as you, there wouldnt be Afghanistan or Iraq. One nuclear bomb will be enough to wipe all of you out. But because America wasnt completely retarded, they decided to take the high road and attack only the terrorists; understanding that the other citizens did no wrong.

7. Maybe if you stopped bombing people and terrorising their country, they wont make fun of your religion. Ever thought of that? If you act like a coward and pull sneak attacks, you're bound to be made fun of.

8. Lastly, some of you may be attacking countries like the U.S because of jealousy. How much richer they are, how everything is beautiful there etc. I believe thats the reason alot of you burn American flags. Well here's something your reptillian brains may not have been able to comprehend, if you stop rioting and stop being jealous about other countries, you can build up your own country pretty well. You've got all that oil, sell it and develop the cities, asshole.


So there we have it. Grow some balls and stop being such uptight, cry babies.

Emoism.

It seems recently (or maybe in the past 1-2 yrs), a worldwide phenomenon has caused rowdy teenagers to turn to self-induced victimisation and depression. Emoism has been around for a while, but this time it's hitting the world harder than Mike Tyson on steroids.

How do you spot an Emo?

"I'm a tortured soul, but that's no reason not to be in a rock concert!"

Goths and Emos look very much alike indeed. You really cant tell them apart in terms of physical appearance actually. However, goths are into sacrificing lambs while emos just like to stay at home and cry for no apparent reason. Both goths and emos like to dye their hair black, have dark eyeliner(or eyeshadows), wear tight female pants, and have pale, white skin (either from make-up or long term avoidance from the sun).
Notice the black hair, dark eyeliner, pale skin and sad-ass face.

The good, the bad, and the Emos.

Originally a genre of softcore punk music, the lyrics and musical shittiness has allowed teens to "relate" to the "pain" that has enveloped them since childhood. We should all feel sorry for these teens because apparently having a wide screen tv, xbox and kfc everyday is too much to bear, even for a 14yr old! The main cause of this is probably MTV, which has been playing emo music and videos internationally. But is it their fault that teenagers nowadays want to be cry-babies? Ironically, Emoism is all about "being different" from everyone else, but since almost everyone is Emo now, there's not much to be different from.

The 'victimised mentality' that emos have is enough to make your piss boil. For no logical reason, they feel they have the worst lives any human can endure. An abundance of food, water, entertainment and security just isnt enough for these greedy assholes. As we speak, there is a severely underweight african kid, crawling on dirt with flies buzzing around him and vultures perched on branches, awaiting his death. But does the emo kid care? What happens when you tell him that? He replies with a half-assed, "you dont understand". Damn right I dont understand. I dont look for imperfections in my life so that i can whine like a little bitch.

Many emo songs have lyrics that bash girls about how they break the "artist's" hearts. And how much emotional damage they're in right now. Gee, could it be because they are desperate, needy and clingy? If you're heartbroken so many times that you can write an entire album about emotional damage, maybe you need to learn not to fall in love with every female you meet. Ever thought of that, you pussy? Songs also talk about how they contemplate suicide and wrist-slitting. Artists which convince their fans ( main source of income) to go kill themselves. Self-sabotaging isnt it?

Emos and other burdens of society (such as the goths, weaklings going around picking fights and pEoPLe wHo tYpE LyK dIS), all have different agendas. But their main goal, is to get attention. Be it pity or admiration.

An Emo only have 3 things on his list.
1. to be depressed
2. to complain about his depression
3. cut himself, to prove that he is 'truly depressed'.

A typical conversation of two emos might go a little something like this:

emo1: No one understands us, we're such tortured souls. Life is hard for us.
emo2: We got it tough, its so unfair.
emo1: Come over to my house so we can slit our wrists together
emo2: Its the only escape we have from the wide screen TVs and xbox.
emo1: we can listen to Taking Back Sunday, while we cut ourselves
emo2: yea, they're my favourite band to self-mutilate to.
emo1: "knife, bleed, autumn, heart, loneliness, anguish, pain, death"
emo2: what?
emo1: thats my poem, like it?
emo2: oh totally, its so deep.

"Lets end it all. Woe is me, woe is me."

Real Men.

Back in the days, men were tough, rough, rugged, dont-take-bullshit, ass-kicking neanderthals. Unfortunately, some time down the road, the females of the human race brainwashed them into thinking that they should be considerate, nice, ass-kissing nancies that should have their testicles removed and presented to their spouses.

Before these "metrosexuals" (yes apparently thats what castrated men are called nowadays) appeared in the early 90s, "gentlemen" were abundant. So this proved that the feminization has been a gradual process. (Testosterone was slowly seeping out of our manly bodies and we didnt even know it!) They were the English men in tight tuxedos that drank champagne as they crossed their twig-like legs which would have undeniably crushed their family jewels (if they had any). It might have been the romance movies starring such people that caused the crazed females to preach to their male counterparts that they would be much more romantic if they did this and that. And thus entered the biggest brainwash/mass castration of the century.

As if being a man (and I use that term very loosely here) who drank champagne and write love poems wasn't enough, they took a step further. I don't know if it had anything to do with the homosexual european designers that popped up in the past few years (versace etc), but the "men" now have taken "being a faggot" to a whole new level. Long gone were the days when a sweaty, muddy, lumberjack (with his hairy chest presenting itself) would go home from a hard day's work and demand some damn food from his woman. What do we get nowadays? A man in tight clothes, wearing a "kiss the chef" apron, cooking a delightful meal for his wife coming home from work. If you told this to a man back in the 1600s, he would've let out a santa-like laugh and bear-hug you cause you've made him laugh. A bear-hug which would most probably snap your delicate, metrosexual spine.

So what's wrong here? Have we simply become more "civilised" or were we feminized to the point of being a generation of weak, emasculated "men"? Have females been so unhappy with their husbands' rough and tumble attitude that they trained their children to be pussies behind their backs? You know something is wrong when men can fully memorise the processes needed for a manicure.

Before we start walking around with a purse and make-up kit (unfortunately some of us already have), I present to you this tribute in honour of real men. A last minute wake up call for those of you who still have your testicles intact.

Rocky Marciano (Right)


We see Rocky fighting Walcott.
Rocky is the type of guy that would open up a can of whoop-ass all over you if you simply look at him wrong. Being pretty short and small sized for a heavyweight, he can still destroy any boxer at his prime, yes even Muhammad Ali.

Shown in the picture, is his crushing power shot which he named the "suzie-Q" ;because he damn well felt like it. Just look at Walcott's face. His momma's gon' have trouble recognising him after that one.

Archie Moore, one of the worlds' most well known heavyweights, had this to say (after getting his shit ruined and knocked out at the 9th round), "After a fight with Marciano, it felt like you had been beat all over the upper body with a blackjack or hit with rocks." whines poor old Archie.

Phil Muscato, after being knocked out in the 5th round, "He kept punching me in the upper arms until I could no longer hold them up to defend or throw punches".

"Marciano's gloved fists broke blood vessels and bones in LaStarza's arms and elbows. First the arms grew heavy, then they began to ache awfully, then they grew numb. As the relentless battle wore on, LaStarza found it harder and harder to raise his arms, much less jab with them or punch with them. His hands lowered, his defense dissipated, Marciano began to punish him about the head. LaStarza began to take a terrible beating." says some random reporter. Thank you random reporter.



Rocky continues to fight despite a serious cut on his nose because he is that much of a man. He bled so much that the referee was considering a stop in the fight. So did Rocky give up and cry like a little pussy? (what most "men" would do). Hell fucking naw! Rocky ran out in a fit of rage so that he could win instead of a draw. That was how much winning meant to Rocky. So he did what any man with big cojones would do, he knocked the poor bastard out.

"And when you got in there with him, you got the feeling, ‘I gotta kill this guy to win; he’s not gonna stop coming.’ No matter what happens…nose gets spit in two, he’s coming…his eyes are fallin’ apart, he’s comin’..he just keeps on comin’. And, it scared half the guys half to death." exposits Ferdie Pacheco. Indeed Ferdie. Rocky displays courage, determination and a whole mountain of masculine whoop-ass.

"The bell would ring he'd be on you. The bell ring he'd stop. The bell would ring again and he'd be right back on you. He was relentless." says George Foreman. 4man is definitely correct. Being in a fight with Rocky is like a 12 round torture session. (if you can even survive that long). Thank you for sharing that 4man.





"First and foremost, Marciano was tough! A man who seemed impervious to pain or the fear of pain. Who could take and ignore the hard punches of his opponents. It was hard to tell if Rocky was ever in trouble, because hitting him was like hitting a stone wall. If he was ever hurt, he didn't show it." Referee Ruby Goldstein. According to Ruby (which has a girly name and must therefore be metrosexual), Rocky can get hit by a crushing blow and still not show any signs of pain. For all you pussies out there, this means he doesnt cry and go home to his mommy.

I'm also going to randomly add that Rocky has a record of 49 wins, 0 losses and 43 knockouts.


Paul Bunyan


A gigantic lumberjack holding an axe, sitting next to a bull which bows to him. Nuff said.

Bruce Lee


In my books, if you can do a 2 finger push up and make a karate champion fly a few feet using a one inch punch, you're a real man.

There you have it folks, let these men serve as role models for you. Just reading this should make your testicles grow 5 times in size. For those of you whose already cut it off and given it to your spouse, piss off, you're beyond hope.