Muslims (This article will not be comedic.)

Although not all muslims are assholes, most of them involved in terrorism are indeed less intelligent than earthworms. There are so many things wrong with them that I seriously don't know where to start. First of, there's nothing wrong with Islamic religion. Like all other religions, it teaches its followers to be compassionate, merciful and be generally good people. Only when the followers start to go ape-shit, that we have a problem.

Back a few hundred odd years ago, the Christians participated in the Crusades and killed many Muslims for the Holy Land. Thousands were killed and many litres of blood were lost. Even so, the crusades had a purpose; to take the Holy Land. Since then, we've become much more civilised. We got proper sewers, great hospitals, satellites launched into space and some of us even help out less fortunate people around the globe. We no longer hold public executions or enslave people. What do we have to fight over nowadays? Some newspaper showing a cartoon of Muhammad? Do these muslims have nothing better to do??


1. First off, It's ok for the muslims to be angry because their prophet is being mocked, but their reason for riots was "because no one is allowed to show a picture of Muahammad". What kind of a fucked up reason is that? Last time I checked, Muhammad is a man, not a God. Suddenly, we're not allowed to draw/generate pictures of other people? There are paintings and sculptures of Jesus everywhere. You don't see Christians burning down the city because of it. Even if someone says your prophet sucks giant elephant cock, so what? Some of us like brocolli, some of us think its defecation from Satan himself. Should we start bombing each other because of that?

2. Many religions are being made fun of all the time. The cartoon South Park has so far, made fun of Christianity, Scientology, Buddhism and Shintoism. Did it cause a big riot? Were buildings bombed? Were people killed? Does anyone care? Fuck no. Instead of being all uptight and bitchy about it, the rest of the world takes it as a joke (as originally intended) and forget about it. We move on with our lives. What makes your religion any better than theirs?

3. And isn't "killing" a sin in Islamic religion? I'm pretty sure all religions try to get you NOT to kill. So you claim to be a loyal servant of Allah but defy his teachings? Very convincing, jackass.

4. Lack of intelligence?- Why not fight back in non-violent ways? Someone mocks your prophet with a cartoon, do the same to their prophet! Why must you bomb/kill etc? It's like how it is back in kindergarten, where one kid will tease another and the loser has nothing to say, so he starts crying, scratching/biting and generally acting like a pussy.

5. Fight Fair- If you choose to fight, at least fight in an honourable way. Why not launch an all-out attack? Why attack using cowardly tactics and other sneak attacks? Many of you act like you are fearless, but cower dastardly and not own up to your actions. Could it be because deep down inside, you know you are gutless pansies?

6. Since it's only a small portion of people that offended you, shouldnt you attack them only? Why attack the entire country? The innocent civilians had done nothing wrong. If America has the same mentality as you, there wouldnt be Afghanistan or Iraq. One nuclear bomb will be enough to wipe all of you out. But because America wasnt completely retarded, they decided to take the high road and attack only the terrorists; understanding that the other citizens did no wrong.

7. Maybe if you stopped bombing people and terrorising their country, they wont make fun of your religion. Ever thought of that? If you act like a coward and pull sneak attacks, you're bound to be made fun of.

8. Lastly, some of you may be attacking countries like the U.S because of jealousy. How much richer they are, how everything is beautiful there etc. I believe thats the reason alot of you burn American flags. Well here's something your reptillian brains may not have been able to comprehend, if you stop rioting and stop being jealous about other countries, you can build up your own country pretty well. You've got all that oil, sell it and develop the cities, asshole.


So there we have it. Grow some balls and stop being such uptight, cry babies.

Emoism.

It seems recently (or maybe in the past 1-2 yrs), a worldwide phenomenon has caused rowdy teenagers to turn to self-induced victimisation and depression. Emoism has been around for a while, but this time it's hitting the world harder than Mike Tyson on steroids.

How do you spot an Emo?

"I'm a tortured soul, but that's no reason not to be in a rock concert!"

Goths and Emos look very much alike indeed. You really cant tell them apart in terms of physical appearance actually. However, goths are into sacrificing lambs while emos just like to stay at home and cry for no apparent reason. Both goths and emos like to dye their hair black, have dark eyeliner(or eyeshadows), wear tight female pants, and have pale, white skin (either from make-up or long term avoidance from the sun).
Notice the black hair, dark eyeliner, pale skin and sad-ass face.

The good, the bad, and the Emos.

Originally a genre of softcore punk music, the lyrics and musical shittiness has allowed teens to "relate" to the "pain" that has enveloped them since childhood. We should all feel sorry for these teens because apparently having a wide screen tv, xbox and kfc everyday is too much to bear, even for a 14yr old! The main cause of this is probably MTV, which has been playing emo music and videos internationally. But is it their fault that teenagers nowadays want to be cry-babies? Ironically, Emoism is all about "being different" from everyone else, but since almost everyone is Emo now, there's not much to be different from.

The 'victimised mentality' that emos have is enough to make your piss boil. For no logical reason, they feel they have the worst lives any human can endure. An abundance of food, water, entertainment and security just isnt enough for these greedy assholes. As we speak, there is a severely underweight african kid, crawling on dirt with flies buzzing around him and vultures perched on branches, awaiting his death. But does the emo kid care? What happens when you tell him that? He replies with a half-assed, "you dont understand". Damn right I dont understand. I dont look for imperfections in my life so that i can whine like a little bitch.

Many emo songs have lyrics that bash girls about how they break the "artist's" hearts. And how much emotional damage they're in right now. Gee, could it be because they are desperate, needy and clingy? If you're heartbroken so many times that you can write an entire album about emotional damage, maybe you need to learn not to fall in love with every female you meet. Ever thought of that, you pussy? Songs also talk about how they contemplate suicide and wrist-slitting. Artists which convince their fans ( main source of income) to go kill themselves. Self-sabotaging isnt it?

Emos and other burdens of society (such as the goths, weaklings going around picking fights and pEoPLe wHo tYpE LyK dIS), all have different agendas. But their main goal, is to get attention. Be it pity or admiration.

An Emo only have 3 things on his list.
1. to be depressed
2. to complain about his depression
3. cut himself, to prove that he is 'truly depressed'.

A typical conversation of two emos might go a little something like this:

emo1: No one understands us, we're such tortured souls. Life is hard for us.
emo2: We got it tough, its so unfair.
emo1: Come over to my house so we can slit our wrists together
emo2: Its the only escape we have from the wide screen TVs and xbox.
emo1: we can listen to Taking Back Sunday, while we cut ourselves
emo2: yea, they're my favourite band to self-mutilate to.
emo1: "knife, bleed, autumn, heart, loneliness, anguish, pain, death"
emo2: what?
emo1: thats my poem, like it?
emo2: oh totally, its so deep.

"Lets end it all. Woe is me, woe is me."